Dale Goes Nuts"
by Saiya-Jill Rabbit
Summary: Dale finds out that in order for his girlfriend Foxglove to win Miss Batty of the 1992-she must marry a wealthy rich lizard


"Dale goes nuts!"  
by  
Tamera Liberto and Jennifer Francine Davis  
  
The following fanfic may be unsuitable for younger viewers so please be aware of the fact  
there might be some things in this fic that might not agree with most of you but who  
cares? Foxglove cannot believe the situation she got herself into. According to the contest  
of Miss Batty 1992 that she joined*entered*, the winner *with her winning after several  
grueling tests she won...but now for the final achievement she must marry the wealthy  
lizard sponsoring this tournament in order to get the coveted title.   
Scene-fades in to Ranger HQs as Foxy is telling Dale the bad news.  
  
Foxy:...So that's it...I have to marry this wealthy lizard or I don't get my title as Miss  
Batty.  
Dale:Gee, that is horrible. Is there anything we can do gang?  
Gadget:Golly! Sorry, Dale; I would like to help you guys come up with a plan, but  
Jimmy(Hitrat) has been acting very strange lately...  
Monty:What's bugging the blighter, Gadget luv?  
Gadget:I don't know. That's why I have kept him in a solitary confinement cell &  
uh....besides Monty...  
[Gadget whispers something to Monty's ear she'd rather not let Dale,Zipper and Foxy  
know about]  
Monty:Tooraloo! Are you sure about that?  
Gadget:[nodding] It's not a very pretty picture.  
Airborn:I think I have an idea, seeing that the boss is has gone thoroughly coocoo. Foxy  
has to marry that lizard, right?  
Foxy:But, Davy! I don't want to!  
Airborn:Who said you had to? I say we slip that rich green dope a faker Foxy.  
Gadget:You mean guise one of us as Foxglove? Like I said, I can't. I still need more tests  
on Jimmy.  
Airborn:[thinking up for a ploy] Which one of us here has exactly the same  
height,weight& etc,etc,&whatever as Foxglove, huh? Chipper is.  
Chip:ME!? Are you crazy!? I don't look a thing like a female. Besides I didn't do so hot  
the day we saved Tami and Bink from Fat Cat's gang.  
Airborn:Because you yahoos did not have the right technology.   
[Airborn looks meaningfully at Gadget]  
Gadget:[blushes] Opps.  
Airborn:And Roger,Sean and George do. They have everything to make Chip look like  
Foxglove.  
Chip:Wait a second here Foxy just WHY do you have to marry this lizard?  
Dale:HEY! Are you coming down on Foxy, huh?  
[Dale grabs Chip and the two start a melay]  
[a beeper goes off in Gadget's pocket]  
Gadget:Oh golly, Jimmy is up to something again. I better go check on him.  
Airborn:You do that, go on Gadget-- Monty,Foxy,Zipper and myself will make sure  
Buster Douglas & Riddick Bowe here don't have a major PPV.   
[Gadget EXITS]  
[Airborn seperates Chip & Dale]  
Airborn:[contining] Back off! I'm the Don King around here, without the hair of course...  
and more feathers...  
Foxglove:Please Dale, let me tell everyone how this started...  
[fade to black as Foxy explains to the group how this all came to be and fade from black]   
Foxy:[continuing] That's when I came over here looking from help from you-my friends. I  
do hope Hitrat[Jimmy] is all right too.  
Chip:He will be. He is a trooper, and a survivor.  
[Gadget ENTERS A shocked expression is on her face.]  
Monty:What happened, l...  
Gadget:Monty, please don't ask, please?  
Monty:Uh, sure thing Gadget.  
Dale:Wow! It must be something.  
[GADGET narrows her eyes at DALE.]  
Gadget:[coldly]You have no earthly idea. I'm going to take a nap. I'm exhausted. If  
anyone asks, or tries to attempt to get Jimmy out...I'll hurt you. I mean it. Later all!   
[Gadget procedes as smiles walking out]  
Dale:Uhhhhhh...  
Gadget:Yes, I mean it Dale. Do not try my patience, please.  
[Gadget finally EXITS to her room for a nice long nap]  
Airborn:She is serious... that's scary. Gadget isn't letting me see Jim, and I'm his best  
friend since Kindergarten, so that's saying something. Foxy, you want our help, you got it.  
But just remember this: Chip impersonation of you is a very very serious risk.  
Foxglove:Why is that, Davy?  
Airborn:If we try to clone you there maybe side effects... but Sean and Rog are setting it  
down in permanent form. If not that then the impersonation will work & then during the  
course of the wedding it might wear of off Chip, getting everyone angry. Chip may suffer  
side effects.  
[Chip groans]  
Chip:I don't feel so good...  
Airborn:[to Chip]Oh come on, tough it out kid.  
Foxglove:What side effects are there?  
Airborn:No idea, our three beloved crack team of experts don't even know. That's why  
we need plenty o' time. When is the wedding? There's the question of the millennium...  
Foxglove:48 hours from now.  
Airborn:Damn. Why such short notice?  
Foxglove: The ''Miss Batty pageant'' was put together quickly.  
Monty:Still, that should give you time and all. Like to get to know this Lizard and such.  
[Thaddues P. Wellington a tall and slender rich lizard wearing a blue fancy suit with  
combed back slicked hair and a moniclue over his left eye and his arms are behind his back  
ENTERS the tree]  
Wellington:You need not Mister Colby; I am here. Well, what a bunch of ragamuffins!  
However, I see a beautiful dandelion amongst the weeds.   
[Wellintong kisses Foxy's wing]  
Foxglove:Uhh... thank you...  
Dale:Hey you! Why I oughta...  
Thad:Wendell!  
[Wendell a huge over grown Mongoose in white dress shirt, grey pants and red suspends  
ENTERS]  
Wendell:Yo! You wanted something, boss?  
Thad:Get this Chip-punk out my sight.  
Airborn:Back off, scum bucket!  
Wendell:Well well well David Sanders haven't seen youse since the Giants-Eagles game of  
1991... you lousy cheater!  
Airborn:Look Banks, you knew full well that play was mine and I scored right, you just  
are way too slow for me.  
Wendell:Yeah, well, the Ref shouldn't have used instant reply you scrawny feather-  
duster...  
Airborn:I'll show you feather-duster, snake-killer...  
[Chip clears his throat]  
Chip:Can you two settle this less violently?  
Thad:*yawns* For once Oakmount your common friend has a good valid point...what a  
rarity.  
Dale:HEY! That's my best friend.  
Thad:Well then I guess that's where they paraphrase the line of ''Monkey See-Monkey  
Do''. I won't cause anymore trouble. Wendell, enough. I know you Rescue Rangers...& I  
know you Mr.Sanders will send in your Springhare(Sean),Kangaroo(George) &  
Fox(Roger) to copy my fiancee through Mr.Maplewood...A warning to you good sir, if  
you so happen to go with that deed I will have no choice but to have the police on you for  
disturbing the peace, Breaking & entering through Mr.Maplewood as Foxglove, and for  
violating contest rules which are protected by official law...is that clear?  
Airborn:Uh I was clear on the ''I know'' part but you lost me after that.  
Thad:Odds botkins! Bah, let's go Wendell...fools. That was your last warning. Good day  
gentlemen & I use that term very loosely.  
*Thad walks out & as Wendell follows glaring at Airborn*  
Monty:That guy has some nerve.  
Chip:Yeah and a load of brass too.  
Dale:He's gonna loose that brass once I get him, I say we help the guys on the duplicated  
machine!  
Airborn:Sounds good to me, the more we help them the faster this will work.  
Chip:Didn't you guys hear his warning?  
Airborn:Chip, just because he threatened to bring down the law on us does not nessicarily  
mean we should not crash that wedding.  
Dale:I thought you didn't hear that part after ''I know''.  
Airborn:Dale...I was being sarcastic & funny. Lighten up bro.  
Chip:Yeah we should help Foxy-wait a minute where is she?  
Monty:Right here a second a ago mates.  
Dale:That does it! Wellington has gone too far now.....it's personal! *screams angrily  
running away from HQ*  
Chip:Dale! Stop!  
Monty:Come back Mate!  
Airborn:Great now he is gone too! Guys I'm wondering something since when did ya have  
to marry someone to be a contest winner?  
Monty:No idea mate but something about Thad & Wendell looked awfully familiar....  
Chip:Rat Capone's hoods? Sugar Ray Lizard &Arnold Mousenegger?  
Airborn:Nah SRL has a raspy voice & he ain't from London. Arnold is not a mongoose  
and that ain't no costume either. Besides why would Rat Capone send his henchmen to do  
a job like this?   
Chip:Maybe you should answer the question of marrying someone to be a contest winner  
then Dave.  
Airborn:Too see if they can prove themselves as housewifes?  
Monty:Maybe Wellington is looking for more....  
Airborn:Doesn't matter. Foxy is missing, Dale just snapped, Gadget is snoozing & on a  
verge of a nervous breakdown & God knows what's plaguing Jim. Desperate times call   
for desperate measures.  
*Just outside the city limits*  
Thad:As I suspected they fell right into my trap Wendell...now we have them. I have  
always wanted to see the downfall of the Rescue Rangers...who knows why with that bird  
out of the way your Giants can win the Super Bowl again.  
Wendell:Yeah...if this plan goes according boss.  
Thad:Oh it will my friend, it very well will.  
*RR Research Lab Sean(the Springhare) & George(The Kangaroo) are finalizing the  
finishing touches on the facade machine that will make Chip into a faker Foxglove*  
George:Got it calibrated right?  
Sean:Yes, this facade machine is all ready for testing that is to say if Owen & Roger are  
already to go..  
*A musclar orange cat & a British fox enter the lab*  
Roger:Is the machine ready?  
George:Yep. Just needs the inf. from you blokes & we can make this test mayhaps a  
successful once.  
Owen:This won't hurt, won't it?   
Sean:No not really. This is just a minmuin test so we can use it on full power. Let's begin.  
*George sits down to operate the main computer of the machine*  
*Sean sits at the operations table*  
Sean:I'm turning on the machine now & collecting Owen's data....*(in the back ground  
music you can hear Owen Hart's second WWF theme song)*  
*Airborn enters the lab but he remains in the shadows lurking unnoticed to the others*  
Sean:Allright I got. Step onto the platform, Roger.  
*Roger proceeds to step onto the platform &George types in the data received from  
Owen to turn Roger into a faker Owen*  
Roger:(as Owen) Wow! I feel different! Jee Owen, taxi like diamond & big blue baggy  
pants?  
Owen:Hey hey don't knock it Roger. I'm my own taylor. I think it worked.  
[Airborn steps out of the shadows]  
Airborn:What a bunch of dummies you guys are what good will it do us if we did not  
record the data from Foxy?  
Sean:Once again Airborn you fail to realize the important facts, George?  
George:I believe & no offence sir but we already recorded Foxy's info. We got everyone's  
already, we just needed to add Owen's today for testing.  
Airborn:None taken Rooz. So your telling me you got everyone's DNA in that computer?  
Sean:Everyone that's from the Rescue Rangers.  
Airborn:Well I guess I'm the dummy then...that's something else. Why didn't you  
McBojo's tell me before?  
George:Uh well because you never asked us.  
Owen:One thing about us mammals you got to admit we are very more better  
knowledgeable to the situation then you birds.  
[Foxy flies into the lab via an open window & observes from the shadows]  
Airborn:Okay Owen you got me there. Just becareful when you are resurrected as a bird  
& me as a cat.   
**As Airborn & Owen cogitate George & Sean reverse Roger back to normal**  
Roger:So. When do we facade Chip into Foxy?  
Foxglove:Never...  
*The depressed bat sadly walks in view*  
Airborn,Owen,Roger,Sean&George:WHAT?  
Airborn:You can't do this. Weddings are a very important thing in your life.  
Sean:Foxy, weddings are not made they are bonds between two people who loved for a  
long time and are ready for that very commitment.   
George:You've got to stop & think about the most important decision in your life,  
whether or not you agree to this lie.  
Roger:Foxglove...all this we may say to you might not be important to others but you are  
a special person in all our lives. We care about you & love you no matter what. What is  
important is how we do things in life. Weddings are things not to be jumped into like this.  
Foxglove:Guys I appreciate all of your concern...but this is something I have to do..so I  
can satisfy Thad & he can finally leave Dale,I& you guys alone.  
Owen:But that means you will give into him, forget everything you did for us Foxy, not  
realizing the truth, standing for you principals and giving into a shallow bully such as  
Wellington. That is just not right, you've got to boycott this wedding Foxy even if it  
means giving up Miss Batty of the year.  
Foxglove:By sending in a facade me Owen? Then your words are empty. I'm very sorry  
but I must do this decision alone whether if it means humbling myself. No offense Owen I  
know you & the rest care about & love me but as Airborn said there are risks....maybe not  
physically but mental. Now you all understand why I have to do this. *hugs each of them  
& gives Owen a small kiss on the check,running out crying*  
Airborn:Wow. I'm flabbergasted...  
Sean:I'm squechled....bah! *slams his fist in the machine*  
Roger:I'm very puzzled.  
George:I have computer pan hands...owie.  
Owen:If you guys only knew how I'M feeling...  
Airborn:We get the general idea Owen.  
*Wendell enters in the lab*  
Wendell:Yo Sanders!  
Airborn:Hey Banks this area is authorized only. Take a hike.  
Wendell:Just want to invites youse to the Boss' mansion...he wishes a word with yas.  
Airborn:*sighs* okay okay...well gentlemen I can see we will have to continue this  
discussion later. TA!  
*the two arrive at Mr.Wellington's plush mansion*  
Wendell:*points to the other end of the pool side sitting down with two chameleons in  
very small bikinis*Over there.  
Airborn:Why don't I just fly over there...it will be a lot less further.  
*Airborns flies over to where Wellington is*  
Thad:Well glad you could join us Mr.Sanders can I get you anything?  
Airborn:Trout. Ice tea.  
Thad:Very well. Dennis!  
Dennis the butler:Yes sir?  
Thad:Bring Mr.Sanders rainbow trout & lemon spiced tea.  
Dennis:Yes sir. Very good sir  
*Dennis proceeds off to get the items requested*  
Airborn:Why am I here?  
Thad:First answer. Very encouragable I see. The answer-I'm going to give you Rescue  
Rangers a sporting chance. If you can act like proper lady & gentlemen I shall invite you  
to the wedding & then afterward annul the wedding so Mr.Oakmount & Foxy live happily  
ever after.  
Airborn:This sounds disconcerting......  
Thad:Mr.Sanders I'm not a disporting lizard. I give everyone equal opportunities.   
Airborn:Such as life.  
Thad:Ha ha ha. You amuse me Mr.Sanders. So I make you the best man, I request  
however though that this be a proper marriage I request that Mr.Colby be the father of the  
bride , Miss Hackwrench as the bride's maid & Mr.Groundchuck as the Minister. I will  
also have a blond female southern duck to sing at the wedding-Ms Trixie Tailfeather.  
Airborn:Well okay....but Jim can't.  
Thad:Mr.Groundchuck can't...why not?  
Airborn:Um he has come down...*looks at his watch....the lavender emergency light takes  
over the whole watch screen goes off flashing back & forth* ((Oh son of a bitch...not now  
Gadget....I'm busy))  
Thad:Mr.Sanders is something that matter? What is wrong with Mr.Groundchuck?  
Airborn:*nonchalantly slams the watch to shut it off & looks at Wellington with a spooked  
look on his face* He uh went to his family reunion won't be back for days.  
Thad:Oh...I see. I will just get something else then. But you, Miss Hackwrench  
&Mr.Colby except?  
Airborn:Yeah we do....  
*Dennis returns with the trout & tea*  
Thad:Excellent. Enjoy your meal as well.  
*Sanders begins to eat & drink as the scene fades out*   
*Airborn returns to HQ to explain everything*  
Airborn:We are invited. Now Gadget what hell was the emergency you flashed on my  
watch?  
Chip:On all our watches?  
Gadget:Big big trouble guys. Jimmy is gone from his cell!  
Airborn:Aw shit...now we are gonna get it.  
Monty:Our asses are in serious crap now.  
Gadget:Golly what can we do...  
Airborn:There is only one person desperate enough not to mention crazy enough to take  
Jim.....  
Chip:Yeah & did you get anything else from Wellington, Dave?  
Airborn:Only that he is gonna have a southern female karoke duck singer...that's it! I  
know what drove Hitrat over the edge like this! That female blond duck from the  
"Duxorist" Daffy Duck abandoned her but Jim stayed around to keep her company..  
Gadget:But that was in the mid 80's Airborn.  
Airborn:That's why the separation was too harsh on him Gadget....god knows what  
happens...Oh dammit. Dale has Jim...  
Gadget:Golly....how do you figure that Airborn?  
Airborn:Gadget who else what attempt that kinda stunt.....  
Monty:Crickey...   
Airborn:We have to stop that wedding proto..& we got 3 hours to get their too, let's get  
ready guys!  
Chip:But what about Hitrat?  
Airborn:Well will have to find him & Dale later right now "we gotta get to the church on  
time."  
Scene fades out...  
The Wellington estate where the backyard is transformed into a luxiours wedding where  
police are disguised as caterers & Wellington is talking to them  
Thad:They are tresspassing..after the wedding is over. Arrest them.   
*All nod*  
Meanwhile Gadget has found Foxy in the back  
Gadget:Hey there you are!  
Foxy:Oh Gadget I don't know if I want to go through with this or not. My dignity will be  
destroyed, I really can't lose my sanity much worse.  
Gadget:Foxglove after the things I've seen in the last few days sanity is the least bit of  
thing to worry about, well okay I'm wrong. Look don't worry about it, Wellington will  
annul the wedding after you two are married.   
Foxglove:That's great news. Maybe I won't even have to kiss him  
Just outside that room Dale looks on with binoculars  
Dale:We will see about that, won't we Jim? No no! Not now you do that when the  
wedding singer begins the karoke. Lets move.  
Gadget & Foxglove move towards the outer hall as Dale & Hitrat move out of sight. The  
wedding proceeds as Owen starts playing the church organ....  
Wellington & Airborn stand at the alter. Two children mice walk down as one drops  
flower petals & the other one carries the rings on a pillow. numerous females walk down  
the isle as brides' maids carrying bouquets of expensive flowers. Airborn has his watch set  
for Squal Richard's slam team on stand by...Then Gadget comes out followed by  
Monterey Jack escorting Foxy down the isle. Foxy is a bit nervous. They stop at the alter  
& the Priest begins....   
Priest:We will begin by our karoke singer Miss Trixie Tailfeather singing praises & glory  
to the happy couple.  
The crowd applauds as the female southern blond duck who is wearing a red low cut dress  
approaches the stages & begins singing.  
Trixie:We are all here today to celebrate this grand wedding so...*slow beat kinda strange  
rhythm* (Trixie starts to sing Karoke style) congrats to the happy couple...hope ya'lls  
kinfolk are happy too.....  
Unnoticed to everyone Hitrat walks down the stairs only seen by Trixie. Hitrat starts to  
sexily rubbing his body down & taking off his clothes in front of her. Trixie loses her  
composer & mind and continues singing.  
Trixie:Uhhh...uhh...Taking off his shirt...letting his pants down...not wearing any  
underwear..*she is sweating heavily now*  
Hitrat is completely nude(this scene is not entirely shown due to the censorboard, just only  
his upper body) & Gadget sees Hitrat too & sighs thinking ((maybe I shouldn't of rejected  
him...)) Trixie stops & her & Gadget make a b-line for Hitrat taking him upstairs as the  
crowd wonders what is going on.   
Priest:Uh perhaps we should forget the sing part & move on with the  
wedding..ahem..*clears his throat* Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to join this  
lizard & this bat into holy matrimony. Who givith this beautiful bride?  
Monty:I givith.  
Priest:Very well we shall continue. Be there anyone here who wises these 2 not to be wed  
speak now or forever hold their peace.  
Dale:Stop! Foxy I just found out this thing is a phony. Miss Batty of the year is not real.  
Foxglove:Are you sure about this?  
Dale:Yeah he even got police to arrest us Rescue Rangers.  
Thad:Allright fine you got me but they will get you! Officers! Arrest these trespassers!  
Squal:Nothing doing boyo.   
Thad:What?  
Squal:As you can plainly see my Slam Team told those "doughnut eaters" to leave. You  
however are under arrest Wellington for having a phony contest trying to falsely be  
protected by the law. That's a very bad felony.  
Thad:Allright I will go quietly but this is not the end of me you hear!  
Wendell:What about me?  
Airborn:Well Banks seeing as how you cooperated the judge show should leniency in your  
case but I'd watch it. Com. Paul Tailiguebu might not like this.   
Wendell:Yeah yeah I know.  
Slam team takes the two away...scene fades out.  
Next scene Foxy is on the church crying at midnight while Dale tries to comfort her  
Dale:Foxy don't cry honey you will always be Miss Batty of the year to me.  
Foxglove:But Dale I always wanted something good in my life to prove I'm a somebody.  
You guys though did nothing wrong-It's me I always fail you. I'll never ever be  
successful...just a dried up old bat...Dale you don't deserve me...I'm no good for you.  
You better find somebody else.  
Dale:Foxy. I will not. The day I met you my heart always was yours you know you  
brought such great happiness to me, I will never forget that or you. You are special to me  
Foxglove you bright up my day when I'm feeling down.  
Foxglove:But look at us both...we are both clumsy..& we never get anything right.  
Dale:That's not important Foxy, sure life isn't always peachy keen but I like to think I  
love my life & I love you. Yes, we are clumsy but who isn't our hearts are the most  
important thing Foxy our love for each other is important we enjoy a good laugh, cry & all  
the things we do that we do in live. I'm clumsy,silly & danged proud of it.   
Foxy:I guess I can be happy knowing I have a sweet cute good looking chipmunk with me  
all the time maybe someday we can get married?  
Dale:Yeah but for now Rescue Rangers are always needed to solve those crimes! Are you  
with me?  
Foxy:Zowie! You bettter believe I am!  
*grabs him & gives him a big wet one on the lips*  
  
Epilogue-------  
It is the next day in Gadget's workshop & Hitrat is coming around...  
Hitrat:*groggily*What...what.....what happened to me?  
Gadget:Up already sleepy head? *kisses him*  
Hitrat:Yeah what's going on I just went through this crazy dream.  
Gadget:*smirking big time* I'll say...  
Hitrat:What?  
Gadget:Uh nothing want me to make you some breakfast?  
Hitrat:Yes please.  
Gadget:Ok I'll be back in a flash!  
Gadget kisses him again on the lips this time and walks to the kitchen as Squal & Airborn  
enter.  
Airborn:You okay Jim?  
Hitrat:Sort of David...wow that was something else.  
Squal:You mean you don't remember?  
Hitrat:Remember what?  
Airborn:Uh nevermind Squal, I think it's best not to let Jim here know the um ahem  
"naked truth".  
Hitrat:Great bradshaw you guys are full of it...  
Airborn&Squal:*looks at each other* HE KNOWS!  
Scene fades out again.  
  
THE END  
  
Cast  
Airborn Sanders-Lorenzo Music  
Dale Oakmount-Corey Burton  
Foxglove-Debra Walley  
Gadget Hackwrench/Chip Maplewood-Tress Macneille  
Monterey Jack/Dennis the Butler-Jim Cummings  
Squal Richards-Mike Liberto  
Thaddeus P. Wellington-Rob Paulsen  
Wendell Banks-Mark Bravaro  
Sean Remington-Sean Connery  
George Roozenby-George Lazenby  
Roger Foxx-Roger Moore  
Owen Calhoun-Chris Benoit  
Trixie Tailfeather-B.J. Ward  
and of course...  
Hitrat(Jim Groundchuck)-N.Liberto 


End file.
